Ha! I'm Back, I'm Black, I Can't Figure Out How To Post Pictures.

I'm writing this on Mr. Moon's Gateway computer which feels wrong, wrong, wrong.

Sort of like if I were a Voodoo Priestess from a tropical island and the only church I could find to slaughter a chicken in to study its entrails was a Catholic church in downtown St. Paul, Minnesota.

Or something like that.

Maybe it's the way the screen says Microsoft Corp. when you start this black beast up. When I start up my MacBook (which I rarely do- I just leave it in sleep mode most of the time) a friendly little apple pops up in the middle of the screen. That Microsoft Corp. thing makes me feel like I should be rolling up my sleeves to post some data, not settling back to let my mind go where it will, my fingers following.

Maybe it's because this is a black beast. It's quite literally black while the MacBook is white and I feel certain I do not need to point out the symbolism there. As I have said before, men seem to like the black background for their blogs, women tend to go for the lighter colored backgrounds. And when you're perusing the shelves at your local Blockbuster, all the Man Movies are in the dark-colored cases whereas the more chick-flicky movies are not.

This reminds me of a joke that Miss Maybelle tells concerning black roosters and white kittens but I shall not post it here. I'm not sure why; it's not like my youngest child, Miss HoneyLuna doesn't know the joke. But still.

I think I'll get the MacBook back from the shop before the week is over. I sincerely hope so. When I took it in, I set it on the counter, cradled it in my arms, laid my body gently over it and said, "Joseph, this is my life."
Joseph, who has been dealing with me and my Macs for well over a decade said, "You'd be surprised how many times a day I hear that."
"Yes," I replied, "But I mean it more than anyone else does."

I doubt he believes me but I don't doubt that Mac owners are different somehow than PC owners. I have a theory that people who have driven Volkswagens at some point in their lives are more apt to use Macs. We like a machine with personality. Apple knows this and capitalizes on it. They don't come right out and say it, but if you watch their commercials, you can see that they know their customer base really likes to think of themselves as special and cooler than the rest of the computer-using world. We like to think of ourselves as the artists, the musicians, the writers, the poets.

I'm not sure I could write a poem on this computer with it's clickity-clack keys, it's scary blue lights.

I love the way, when a Mac goes to sleep, the little indicator light doesn't just glow steadily, it breathes. It ebbs and flows softly, like the waves, like a heartbeat, like the ebbing and flowing of day into night and back again.

All right. This is crazy. I sound like a teenaged girl, yearning for her far-away lover, talking about the way he smells, the way he kisses, the way his hands look when he's chopping garlic for soup.

I'll stop now.

It's cold. My yard is a mess of plants turned to mush and I should begin the process of cutting back and hauling off what I cut. I should go take a walk. I should eat my oatmeal. I should make the bed, do some laundry, put the beans on to soak. I should go cure cancer, comfort the dying, ease the pain of the birthing, help the lame walk and perhaps see if Obama needs me for the transition team.

Or maybe ask Wanda Sykes if she needs a personal assistant.

Do you have her number?

Anyway, I've been thinking that I enjoyed my Ask Ms. Moon post so much that it might be fun to answer some real questions, should I get them. So if you have any questions please post them to mmerluna@aol.com or, just leave them as a comment here and I will do my best to answer them. Any and all subjects considered. As we all know, I certainly have at least an opinion on almost everything, even without the factual information to back that opinion up.

And if I don't get any questions, I'll just make up some more.

Hopefully I'll be doing that on a MacBook made of purest white material, its corners rounded and its surface cool to the touch, it's keyboard silent and swift, its shortcuts known to me and as familiar as a lover's touch, it's oh-so-sensitive and elegant little mousie which I can run two fingers down, causing the page to move effortlessly.

Oh. Sorry. I went off there for a second to another place.
The place of all things Apple. The place of poetry and wonder.

Stay warm. Be cool. Even on a Gateway.