Sunday, August 9, 2009

I Kneel and Worship You

This is a picture of John Gorrie. He invented the air conditioner. Also, he (according to Wikkipedia) was as well as being resident physician at two hospitals, Gorrie was active in the community. At various times he served as a council member, Postmaster, President of the Bank of Pensacola's Apalachicola Branch, Secretary of the Masonic Lodge, and was one of the founding vestrymen of Trinity Episcopal Church.

I don't give one damn shit about all of that. All I know is that my central AC unit is broken, I am pouring sweat off my body and face and the hallway temperature is 84 degrees. And that upstairs the air conditioner is working and I don't have to sleep drenched in sweat.

Oh bless you, John Gorrie. And curse you, too, because the weak and the wussies can all manage to live in Florida, due to your invention. Which is not really a great thing. The Mouse would never have made it to Orlando without your invention.

But you know what? I would have. God damn. I would still live here.

I think.

But I am blessing you tonight because upstairs in my house, the AC is running and I am going to sleep sweat-free. Until I have a hot flash. And then even living in an igloo wouldn't make that any easier.

But you've done your part and next time I'm in Apalach, I'm going to put another ice cube on your grave. And I will bow my head and say Bless Your Heart.

14 comments:

  1. so funny -- but I wish you'd come out here and live in temperate Los Angeles -- you could bring the chickens and live in the Hollywood Hills. Really.

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  2. Bless John Gorrie - I might be a goner without him, with this irish skin...

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  3. inventors are fascinating to me. i would love to do a biography on one some day. and hells to the yes for AC.

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  4. I can't even imagine what it would be like living in a country needing airconditioning. We have a fan for our three hot days a year. And I can switch it off after midnight, because it cools off enough. Just can't imagine.

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  5. I love the heat and rarely even use AC in the car. And I'm always messing with the thermostats at work. I don't really think naked babies need to be in ice cold exam rooms. Nor do I for that matter. But my own hot flashes are right around the corner. And I'll be just another peri-menopausal lady at work lovin the AC. And I'll probably be scrambling to put a unit in the bedroom window. For now, it's still ceiling fans in this old house.

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  6. Elizabeth- I have seen those Hollywood Hills. It would not work. It would be worse than the Beverly Hillbillies. I assure you.

    SJ- That man changed the world. And not just my world, either.

    Maggie May- I know. Inventing is definitely a form of art.

    Mwa- No. You can't imagine. And I'm sure you're happy about that.

    Michelle- Trust me- AC won't even do the job when you get the hot flashes. And maybe you won't get them. I hope for your sake, you do NOT.

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  7. Damn, so he is the God who is worshiped in the church of Batshit Crazy!

    Sweet.

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  8. I see your point but in Maine this year, I haven't even unwrapped my A/Cs. It's about 80 during the day and 40+ at night. Ze balls shrivel from the knees up into the throat within an hour.

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  9. Petit Fleur- One of the saints at least. Johnny Weissmuller is another.

    Mr. Berry- Hmmm. Well, I don't have balls but if I did, I don't think I'd be using them too much in this heat.

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  10. DTG- Yes. But please- watch that. You're gonna need crowns when you're my age. Unless it's that nice, soft ice.

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  11. I can't help it. My teeth are like chalk anyway. Must crunch ice!

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  12. I worship him, too! Without a/c I couldn't survive here!

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  13. DTG- We'll buy you stainless steel teeth, okay?

    Joy- There should be a national holiday or something.

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