Monday, October 26, 2009

And Bat-Shit Crazy Is Not Just A Religion

How the FUCK do people do it? Especially the ones who work outside the house. Or have a disabled child. Or run web sites from home while taking care of children.

It's after five here today and I have supper cooking and I have laundry in the process of being laundered and I have gone to yoga, collected eggs (whoo- big heavy deal- go out and pick up five eggs out of the laying box) and fed the chickens and watered them and been to town to visit Owen and Lily and Jason and they ALL smiled at me and I dropped off some stuff at the library and I went to the Dollar Store and to Publix.

I hadn't been to the Dollar Store in a very long time, but there it was, right next to the branch library with a big sign that said, "STEAK- Hurry in and get yours before it's gone!"
Well. It was all gone by the time I got there so I didn't get any Dollar Store steak which one can only imagine where that steak started out as beef and what it was fed and how it was raised and killed. I mean, really. That is just about the scariest thing I've ever heard of. Dollar Store steak. I'm a little afraid of their soap and candy.

Steak?

But as I said, it was all gone so I guess some folks are eating steak tonight. We're eating venison in the form of Chili Colorado, or at least my version of the dish which is highly inauthentic but hopefully, will be tasty and which took me hours to get to the point where it is in the pot and simmering.

But anyway, back to my original question- HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT?
How do people who hold down eight-hour-a-day jobs get their laundry done, their supper on the table, their houses reasonably in order, watch reality television, write blogs, read blogs, play with their kids and bathe and feed their kids and do the shopping and walk the dog and feed the cat and keep the plants watered and still get a reasonable amount of sleep?
How the fuck do they do it?

Or, how do YOU do it?

I look around me and see nothing but dusty furniture, a garden that needs watering and weeding, a chicken coop that needs serious poop removal, mouse poop on the microwave, dirt in the cracks and oh yes, there's another dog poop on the carpet.

I'm detecting a theme here and if you're paying attention, you will notice that it's a theme of SHIT!

Which is appropriate because it seems like all I do every day is wade through the shit. I never get it all done. What IS it all? What would that mean? Those old housewives on TV used to greet their suit-and-tied men at the door wearing a chic apron, heels and pearls with an icy martini in their hands.
"Hard day at the office, dear?" the wife would ask and the husband would loosen his tie, take the drink, have a nice, long sip, kiss the wife and say, "Oh yes. Quite the day. And yours?"
"Oh, you know. The same as usual," the wife would chirp, and then trot into the kitchen on her heels to check the roast in the oven and refresh the hubby's drink.
Did these women never mop the floors? I know they did because the commercials in those days were vastly concerned with yellowing linoleum and how to prevent it. Did they never vacuum or garden or deal with recalcitrant teens? They must have, and we know this, because other commercials would show a woman in a meltdown, grabbing her head while the husband said, "I know you have a headache, but don't take it out on me!" And then he'd hand her a bottle of Bayer.
Did they not do their laundry? If they didn't, who were the women on the commercials frantic at the shame of ring around the collar?

Ah- the mixed messages of fifties TV.

And this is what I was raised on.

I was raised BY a woman who did indeed work and who spent all day Saturday cleaning house. She was not happy about it, either. But she did it. And she cooked (and I use that term loosely) dinner most nights for me and my brother. And she even sewed dresses for me sometimes. And she melted down quite frequently. Real meltdowns that a bottle of aspirin so big it would clog up King Kong's rectum wouldn't cure. And she was addicted to Benzedrine Inhalers for her sinuses. Yes, my darlings, you used to be able to buy BENZEDRINE over the counter in a handy little inhaler bottle. It was green and white. I remember it well.

So I'm pretty sure that my own working mother never felt like she got it done either. Later on, she always had a woman come in to clean, which I'm sure helped tremendously but by then she had two more children, still worked, and her elderly father lived in the house, too. Let's not even mention her evil, insane husband.
There were months she barely came downstairs except go to work. Boy! I'll bet her students were happy little campers, don't you?

But I have strayed. And I need to get back to the laundry. And my clothes have been strewn about two rooms for weeks because it's fall transition time and I keep opening the bin where my winter things are and just pulling things out at random and my summer things are piling up because I mean to put them away for winter and my too-skinny clothes are still in the drawers and closets and my fat-clothes are on top of them and it's all a big old chaotic mess and it all makes my soul feel troubled and ruffled and definitely NOT AT PEACE!

There is never a moment in the day when I don't have dishes waiting to be washed, clothes waiting to be put away, some sort of animal's shit to be dealt with, and something having to do with food to be done, whether shopping or cooking or gardening or washing dishes AGAIN or putting it all away or making Mr. Moon's lunch and smoothie for the next day.
And I never sit down to work on a book anymore, but by God, I do write on the blog. And if I didn't, I think I would go perfectly and completely insane. _I_ would be the one drinking the martinis and I wouldn't be waiting until five-thirty p.m. either. No, I'd be mixing up those babies around ten in the morning. So thank God for the blog.

But I always, always feel guilty about taking the time to write here, to take pictures for it (and that may no longer be a problem, what with the camera's dysfunction) and I SHOULD be helping my husband financially, I should be dusting the piano, I should be cleaning the air filter or ironing something or cleaning the toilets or sewing something or mending something or making Christmas presents or just sweeping the damn floor.
I should be! I really should!

And Mr. Moon just got home and it made me feel as if I'd been busted because I was writing and then he suggested that perhaps I should pick up the pecans around the house before the squirrels get every damn last one of them. Haha! I said. Oh, that funny Mr. Moon.

So what do you do? How do you do it? How do you get things done? I didn't say EVERY thing done because that's just not possible and we all know it. Is my time different than your time? Does my time speed by faster than yours? I don't think so. Do I waste too much time here, on my computer when I should be cleaning that grill beneath the refrigerator? Should I quit making my own wheat/oat/flax bread? Should I cook Dollar Store steak in a skillet and serve it with Dollar Store green beans and Dollar Store boxed potatoes au gratin instead of taking hours to make chili and other healthy things like real vegetables? Should I get rid of my porch plants, my chickens, my garden? Should I live in a house that's smaller and easier to clean and doesn't collect bugs and mice the way this one does?
(Don't answer that last one. I mean it!)

I don't know. Tell me what you do. What are the things you let go, what are the things you can't live your life without doing? And how do you deal with the guilt of yellowing linoleum and ring around the collar? How do you justify spending time on blogging and reading blogs of people you've come to need and love in your life?

Let me know.
And now I have to go wash some dishes. The pre-supper dishes. The dishes I used to make the supper with. And steam the squash. And get rid of yesterday's newspaper and finish that laundry and ah, shit. The poop. I forgot the poop.

Those pecans are going to have to wait.
But maybe we should just let the squirrels get them all and then Mr. Moon can shoot them and I can learn to cook pecan-fed squirrel for supper. If I could just learn to grow sweet potatoes, I bet I could make a tasty meal out of the squirrel, the sweet potatoes and the collard greens.

Shit. I'm insane.

Are you?

41 comments:

  1. My theory is that time stretches. Almost all of my life I've worked full-time, gone to school full-time, and done a gazillion other things including gardening, cooking, house cleaning, entertaining, etc.

    But now that I'm not doing all that due to unemployment (despite my best efforts to not be unemployed now), I just spent the past 7 hours looking for the PERFECT tan piece to go in a quilt I plan to make (still haven't found it). After two hours for one job application. and tomorrow I will spend the whole day helping my friend who was burgled put her life back in order. These are things I couldn't do if I were busy 18 hours of the day and so I wouldn't - I've been planning this quilt for months but when the hell did I have time to work on it?

    You do a lot more "good enough" when you're super busy. Much more planning and organizing. I find many more things sit waiting when I don't HAVE to do them.

    Time just stretches and expands or contracts based on necessity.

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  2. at work i work on my preps and check papers once my students begin their seatwork which cuts down on some of the stuff i have to bring home.

    i dont watch tv when i am by myself unless i am running or getting ready for work. i alternate between schoolwork and cleaning whilst listening to really loud music. today it's been unbroken and emmure.

    i take a 15 minute union break once every two hours to blog/ read blogs.

    my first hour awake is devoted to writing/ running/ reading.

    i check papers at the during the wash cycle at the launderette and usually grocery shop while my stuff is in the dryer.

    i cook every three days, something that is semi nutritious and reheat it 'till it's gone. sometimes i eat cereal or eggs for dinner too.

    i get between 5-6 hours of sleep a night and spend most of the weekends slacking off with my darling mr. mischief who takes me geocaching and bike riding and nature walking which keeps me from going insane during the rest of the week and the never-ending grading/ documentation required at my day job which consumes way more than 8 hours a day.

    xxalainaxx

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  3. i don't, ms moon. i don't 'do it'.

    you have imagined me, my children, my creations, my crazy boyfriend who abandons me every second tuesday.

    or perhaps i am an elaborate virus. a power surge. a dream.

    maybe i am the product of some lurker's imagination. maybe we all are.

    maybe there is no one out there 'doing it'.

    maybe no one has to deal with the guilt of yellowing linoleum and ring around the collar, because in actuality, paris hilton sits on a giant beanbag filled with diamonds and creates new blogs and new blog personalities to stalk and lurk and follow you, and she ought to get cracking because you/she are just 15 figments away from 100 followers!

    yay ms moon!

    this IS the church of the batshit crazy, right? don't tell me i have the wrong address...

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  4. OMG omg omg - YES!!!
    you are speaking MY very mind! i think this all the time. im just chin high in shit 24-7-12 and nothing gets accomplished. and I mean literal and figurative shit. Literal shit in that i have a baby AND a 14 year old disabled child in diapers. And i wipe my 5 and 3 year old's asses after they shit in the toilet (bc lets face it, they dont do a great job). i mean, s/t i feel like I have a layer of fecal matter all over me.

    but YES! my friends invite me to take an f--ing yoga class or train with them for a triathalon. TRIATHALON! i cant even find clean underwear, mop my floor, or drive a car without crashing it (3 times in 13 days thank you very much). no. triathalons are out. i do my work out the old fashioned way. running around like a chicken w/ its head cut off all day long whilst accomplishing ZERO!!

    HA! this was great! i think i love you ;)

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  5. as we speak I'm having a glass of red, the dinner dishes will wait until tomorrow when I get up before the sun to be alone to read and blog
    the snake like central vacuum is taunting me from the hall where this weekends leaves are drying out.
    But I sewed a blanket for a charitable cause, went running, took pictures , played lego, chatted with my daughter who at 19 is my friend , and emailed encouragement to 5 people I love more than the cleaning police , who have never had the nerve to show up uninvited. And I cook from scratch , to feed my family and my soul, and if that means the laundry pile gets cleaned but not put away... too bad. I work tomorrow, and will get through it in it's own way

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  6. I put on an apron. I make sure a candle is lit, dinner is cooking, and I am wearing an apron when my husband walks in.

    BUT

    kids are a mess
    tv on
    homework not done
    laundry everywhere
    dirty floor
    dirty dishes
    I stink
    cat shit in the bathroom
    pee on the floor of every bathroom
    bills unpaid


    so
    I light that candle
    and I put on an apron
    and I pretend
    narrow my focus to the candle, the apron, and the cooking

    I dont do it all
    and I have always tortured myself because I have convinced myself that so many others CAN do it all
    they DO do it all
    and my filth and stink and general SHIT make me feel like a failure

    I admit it
    I wan t everything to perfect
    and in result?
    nothing is

    and so I light a candle and put on a apron

    and I don't sleep
    because it is not until all the kids and husband are fast asleep that I can finally get to ME
    the blogs
    the mess
    and more importantly
    THE WINE

    I have thought of changing my blog many times to PIECE OF SHIT
    because like you, that is what I feel I am surrounded by!

    and now, I have to go get that apron..
    it is almost dinner time!!!!

    shit..WHERE are my kids?????
    lost them while blogging....
    probably buried underneath all the SHIT

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  7. Nola- Damn. I knew someone was going to say that. Arrggghhhh. So I should go out and get a job and I'd get more done. Dammit.

    Ms. A- If I only got 5-6 hours of sleep a night I would DIE! I swear to you- I need at least eight, nine is better. Oh. How I admire you but I cannot live on that amount of sleep. I cannot.

    Adrienne- No. You have the right address. Jesus, woman. You have twins and you make art. YOU MAKE ART! You ARE a power surge. You are in my dreams.

    Dr. Mom- No. Wait. You do all of that and you still have time to talk to friends who want you to do a triatholon? I am beside myself with awe. Please come back and visit any time you want. The Church of the Batshit Crazy is never closed. Never.
    And honey- please be careful behind the wheel.

    Deb- Well. You are another hero of mine. I cannot leave the dishes until the new day because my days always begin in despair and if I had to face yesterday's dishes as well as yesterday's problems, I would crumple up and die. Legos, pictures, running and making a blanket? Oh my lord. Bless you.

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  8. Laura- Aprons and candles. Yes. There you go. And mist Fabuloso around the room. And that covers the cleaning. No. No piece of shit. Just life which has shit in it and here you are, doing it, step by step, cake by cake, evening by evening and thank-you so much for that beautiful poem/comment.

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  9. I am tormented by this very problem. Last week my husband took Walter to visit my dad for the day. I had the whole day with just Sylvie to look after. Oh the CLEANING I would accomplish! With enough time left over for RELAXATION! I still can't quite figure out how it happened, but nothing more than the usual got done. I have 3 priorities of housework, and they all come after the kids and husband. Those priorities are: Cooking dinner, Dishes, Laundry. That's it. If I do more than that, it's a banner day. My bedroom carpet hasn't been swept for a month. My toilets both need cleaned. I cannot be at peace with things left undone--so I decided the only things that needed done were those three. It works, sometimes.

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  10. Oh no, Ms. Moon - I'm sorry that's how it sounded. I'm not saying you should go get a job outside the home - because important wonderful things would fall by the wayside - great things you cannot do when you're away from home ten hours a day and spend all your mental energies elsewhere.

    I just mean - we do what we do and we are amazingly adaptable based on what needs to happen. I'm thrilled to have this time to work in my garden and quilt, because soon there will be no time. If you had to work outside, you would and you would survive.

    And my mother used to lock herself away all the time we were home, popping lots of pills and getting semi-legally stoned, even when she didn't have a job. I think the job outside the house is the easiest part of many people's lives - especially if it pays a living wage and provides life necessities like health insurance.

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  11. Ok, first of all, let me say... KING KONG'S RECTUM??? What a crazy visual. I think you have damaged what's left of my tender little psyche with that one. But I love it so!!

    Now, most people with "jobs" can't take nearly the care to do things the way you can and do like preparing meals from SCRATCH EVERY F--ing DAY, and they don't keep a garden year round and have to tend it, they don't hang their laundry and they DAMN sure don't live in Lloyd! You're work is no less work than 9-5 work. In fact it's more grueling as you say because it's always there. (There is no closing bell or punch out time for what you do)

    As far as sanity or at least feeling good about who you are and what you do, two things come to mind...
    1) Relax and realize that you are an artist and as such, you MUST write. It is not some frivolous thing you are doing to fritter away your time. You MUST do it. NO OTHER OPTIONS. So, it's high time you started laying off yourself about that. Besides, where would your minions be without you?

    2) The serenity prayer works nicely as a mantra. Then on really bad days, you can scream out SERENITY NOW!!! Like George Castanza's dad did! I do that a lot.
    xoxo

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  12. PS Jump on over to my place and play yourself some Headwig... That is SURE to make you feel good! Play the Wig in a Box and Sugar Daddy clips. Yummy!

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  13. I'm an organised monster, actually, and when I do "do it all" I congratulate myself and then I laugh hysterically because it's all a big, fat shitty joke. Seriously, I laugh a lot and I'm probably a little bit scary -- to my children and my friends. And I'm a virgo so I thrive with a lot of stuff to do and things to criticize.

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  14. I don't have time to write a full comment on how I get it done tonight... and that's how I don't manage my time well. Hehe, oh the irony.

    P.S. I think I might have gone insane today. I was on campus from eight in the morning until eight at night. I'm tired, and I just pray that some of the information that I learned today actually has made permanent neuro-pathways into my brain.

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  15. Gosh, I think about this ALL the time, and love how you wrote it all out. I just tonight and last night finally gave some of the dusty plants a bath. I think I have had that on my TO DO list for a year. I also packed up letters/treats for 2 aunts and 2 friends I've had sitting in my closet for MONTHS. I have yet to make a sympathy card for my friends whose mother died in early September. I mean, that's just WRONG. I felt acomplished this weekend because I took all my little notes and lists and made one big list. But I don't get it either. I do have lots of animals to care for and clean up after, but no children, I only work 30 hours and I don't watch a lot of TV or even read much anymore, but it feels like time just slips away and things get dirtier and dirtier. But it also sometimes gets cleaner. Like the plant leaves, for now. Please don't get rid of your porch plants. I think we just have to accept the dust and the ebb and flow and do our best to enter each moment with gratitude even if we are picking up shit, over and over. But yeah, I don't know how most people do it. I don't have children partly because I don't think I could manage it. I can barely take care of myself properly, you know?

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  16. PS It made me happy to see your washed out baggie. I do the same too and often think I'm nuts. Maybe this is a clue to why we have no time!

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  17. Here's my secret.

    I come home and tell my wife that I met someone we know during they day, and that they said they would call over to visit the next day.

    They never arrive of course, but she's wizzed around the house making it spotless by then anyway.

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  18. I don't. I just don't. I used to have a job and a child, and just as much got done. Now I don't have a (paid) job and two children and I'm not sure where all the time goes. I feel guilty about the blogging as well, but like you said it's the thing that's keeping me semi-sane. I felt like mixing myself a drink at nine this morning (no, I didn't) and the alternatives were crying or blogging. So I'm trying to think desparately about a topic just now. I may end up crying anyway.

    I honestly don't understand the people without metaphorical poo on the carpet. I know some people like that, whose house is always perfect, and I suspect they're a different breed or something.

    I have learned about frozen vegetables (not for every day, but better than no vegetables), and what I can not iron, and also what is essential and should come first (cuddles, homework, attention, food). Ah, shit - I don't know. I make it up as I go along.

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  19. I don't rinse out plastic ziplock bags. I use them once and if they're not toally disgusting - for instance, if I had an open package of Oscar Meyer bologna in one, just opened on the one end (yes, I know, I still eat like a kid), I may use them again for a second package of the same item, but after that I toss the plastic bag.
    You would not believe the time I pick up by not washing plastic bags! I have enough time to keep up Lucy's blog, pick up her poo in the yard, and bathe her in 'only been used once' (by me) bath water. That's another time saver - bathe your dogs right after you take a bath.
    These two simple actions could change your life - try them.

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  20. Lora- I guess for me the priorities are husband, meals, laundry, dishes. I don't even have children at home. Of course, there are the chickens. Who need some feeding and serious poop removal activity right now. Lord. But like you- if I get anything done beyond the priorities, I feel as if I deserve a crown. Or something.

    Nola- Yes. At least at work, one generally has a guideline of things to be done and there is an end to the day. I still don't know how people do it.

    Ms. Fleur- Yes. SERENITY NOW! GODDAMMIT!

    Elizabeth- It is a good thing you are so organized. And it is a good thing you laugh a lot. In my next lifetime, I will ask for those two gifts.

    HoneyLuna- Twelve hours on campus? This can't be good. I love you, darling girl.

    Bethany- I understand. Do any of us take care of ourselves properly? And no, I will not get rid of my porch plants. Winter's freezes will help cull them, though, darn it. And of course I wash out baggies. Especially the big freezer ones. If they're not really nasty.
    But maybe that's a ridiculous waste of time. I don't know.

    Daddy X- Glad that one's working for you. I think it may have a time limit as to effectiveness though.

    Mwa- We all do make it up as we go along, I guess. And I suspect deep pathology in those whose carpets are always clean. And don't cry, dear. It'll be okay.

    Juancho- Yeah. I hear that stuff is pretty good.

    Ms. Lucy- Well. I don't wash my dogs. Okay, maybe once a month. So I do save a lot of time there.

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  21. I just ignore it all and feel bad about myself.

    I don't recommend this as a tactic.

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  22. My mother died when I was 18 months old and my sister was 2 months old and we grew up with a stepmother who never worked, but spent her days making lists of chores for us to do when we got home from school. She was a cleaning fanatic who didn't like to clean so she made us do it. If we didn't, we got switched with a branch from the cherry tree that grew in the backyard. By the time I got out of there, I decided that I wasn't going to be a slave to my house. I went to the opposite extreme with my kids when they were growing up and never made them do chores and their rooms stayed messy. My house was clean but cluttered and it still is. Most of the time everything gets done, but if it doesn't, then it's not the end of the world. If there is something else I want to do, I do it and I don't worry about the house because as my Granny always used to say "the house will still be here when you are gone so enjoy yourself now and don't worry about it."

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  23. Your posts are always so timely! And a great opportunity for all of us to express it and then get on with it.....
    Sometimes I think about that show Wife Swap and how if a woman was not used to doing as much as I do she would absolutely freak out at my house. And I have a husband who also works full time and mops the floors and the countertops and does his own laundry and fixes stuff in our older house. What helps is occasionally I may take off a day or a half day and it is amazing how a few hours extra time make me feel better. I never sit down. I will dvr some TV and then a week will go by and I haven't had a chance to see it. I will have to announce to the family that I am about to watch 45 mins of Project Runway. And still I can never relax. I am gone from about 9:00 to 6:00 on weekdays (fortunately it's close to home) and yet I clean a 3-story house, cook all meals and make 22 lunches a week and have no external family around to help. We are very strict with making the boys clean their rooms and bathroom very often. Laundry is done almost every night and they must put their clean clothes away.
    I don't like fast food or processed food so I will spend Sundays cooking in bulk to prepare for the week. I go to all of my 3 sons' baseball games and school events....and the homework,, oh my gosh their teachers even email me to make sure the students do this and that--it's like I am in freaking school!!
    Any exercise is what I give up. And sleep. But doors still open here and there--for example the boys are old enough to be at home without us if we (me and my man) want to go to a restaurant alone.

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  24. Hm. I work full time, I have four kids, I go to AA twice a week, I meet with my friend P. for coffee or whatever once a week-I don't get anything done. I am sorry, I will just jump right in and say here that those people who claim terminal exhaustion or "all I do is clean!" or "I am so busy!" just drive me crazy. We are ALL busy-fact of life. But if cleaning your house is more important than, say, reading a book to your kids, or taking a much-needed nap, or even sitting down to watch a movie with your family, then your priorities are out of whack. In MY opinion, which is only what works best for ME, no one else. I clean from 8:00-12:00 on Saturdays; the kids help. Anything that isn't done by noon just doesn't get done. We pick up the house and do the dishes before bed-every night, without fail. With six of us in the house, there is always a load of laundry in, but you know, there is dust, and the windows need cleaned, and blah blah blah. I just DON'T do it all.

    My priorities? Kids, partner, myself. Not always in that order, either, but those are the three most important things I need to take care of. If I personally am feeling like the house is a pigsty, then I probably need to clean it to make myself feel better. If I need a nap, by golly I try really hard to take a nap. I am in bed by 10:00, and I sleep in until 5:30; I HAVE to.

    My point? I don't have one; I just shrug and say hm, I don't know, things just get done-or they don't. I-and again, this is just for ME-know that my kids know they are loved, and they have good food and clean clothes, and Owen knows if he wants to read a book then me or daddy is more than happy to read him one,and when I die, I don't suppose I really give a crap about most of the rest of it.

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  25. I never get everything done during the week, when I am working, but I try to catch things up on the weekends.

    Maybe we should be asking "Why do you try or expect to get everything done?" instead of "How." Why do nearly all Americans pack way too much into their days? You don't see the sensible French continually running around like chickens with their damn heads cut off. Maybe we should focus on simplifying things, instead of packing more in.

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  26. Oh dear Lord that was awesome. I laughed, but I get the serious message behind it. Sometimes we just have to let shit pile up. I usually have a cleaning fit and attack in big bursts. I am good about trying to keep it that way for two days. Then the tide comes in. So much of our day is spent building sand castles, don't you think? Our posts were similar in a weird way. The daily grind and it's tole on the soul. All I can say is thank God you write. I dig you Sister Moon.

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  27. Wow Ms Moon-you really hit it on the head with this one. I was seriously just thinking this morning that your life sounds so peaceful... grown kids, chickens, no tv. Let me tell you, I'm not doing it any less than you're not doing it. Maybe Nola's right. Cause when I think back to my young and single days, I still didn't get the bathrooms cleaned, I never cooked dinner, bills were always last minute. I guess we set our priorities regardless of what's on our plates. Laundry, toilets, clean floors. Not a priority. Why? Cause that stuff sucks. Who wants to spend a minute of "free" time on that? Not me. I was going to fold clothes, and mop my kitchen floor, but I sat down to visit you all instead. Fuck it. There has to be some giggles and hope and help and sanity in life, and it sure isn't coming from an empty laundry basket.

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  28. awsome post!

    its awful..i have a cleaning lady (that means my home is clean on three days of the week) who takes care that there is always toiletpaper in the bathroom and that the rest of the house dont drowns in dirt..i m awful..its my moms fault..i never had to clean up my room myself..and now..i m like this blonde dumb chick on tv..jessica simpson??? who isnt able to hang up her towel after showring but just drop it on the floor..... i remeber those wonderfull days before getting seriously family stuff on..when i just went out for dinner and cocktails with my people and they never saw my dusty shoe rack...but now in my late twenties i do invite friends and family and i cook like martha steward on cocain and smile and stuff and everyone compliments me for my wonderful home..but they dont know that i got up at 6 in the morning to bake goddamned cakes and to clean the fucking windows...and that i, sometimes when i m really desperade because deadlines keep me from cleaning, hide the overload of dirty dishes behind the balkony trees...yes i did that once or twice...or maybe 5 times..but not more...now you know how I do it,...yes yes..tell me i m awful

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  29. Jo- I think we all know and practice this tactic. And why do we have to feel so bad about it? Dammit.

    Lois- Too bad your stepmother didn't marry my stepfather. Would have saved us all a lot of grief.
    I love your Granny's philosophy and try to practice it. I try.
    Did you get your mammogram yet?

    Michele Rene- STOP IT! You're making me crazy! I am on my knees in front of you saying, "I am not worthy. I AM NOT WORTHY!" Lord, woman.

    Kori- You "sleep in" until 5:30?!!
    You lazy soul, you.
    Okay, you know that was spoken in irony.
    See- I was thinking of you when I wrote that post. And so- this is how you do it. I couldn't do it
    . I will tell you that. I do love the cleaning on Saturday morning idea. That is genius. If it gets done, fine. If it doesn't, fine.
    I admire you more than ever, you know.

    Ms. Bastard- I know you like a tidy house. And I completely agree with you- we all try to do TOO DAMN MUCH!

    Brother Wrecking Ball- I thought the same thing when I read your latest post last night. Connected, some how. As always. I'm glad you write, too.

    Michelle- Nope. It does not come from an empty laundry basket. I'm so honored that you take your precious moments to come here. I am. And I love it when you use them to write your own blog posts.

    Danielle- Now how did YOU find Bless Our Hearts? I would love to know the path there. Your blog is so beautiful!
    I love the fact that you hide the dirty dishes behind the trees! That is wonderful and genius.
    And cooking like Martha Stewart on cocaine? Ha! That's me on big holidays.
    You're darling. Come back. Please.

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  30. My dreaded mammogram is tomorrow and I'm trying not to think about it, but it's not working.

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  31. the path i followed you on home is all over jo´s blog..hehe*

    i m glad you like my blog:-)

    here is some more :

    www.desantiago.de

    i used to try to hid ethe dirty dishes in the washing maschine..which ended with broken dishes...i also tried to hide them in the oven..which made me end up with a melted blender...so..trees on the balcony were the best choice so far..:-)

    i ll put you on my blog roll..so you can be sure i ll find my way back to the blessed hearts of ours..:-)

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  32. oh, ms. moon... we don't. that;s just it. we don't.

    we all think the other is but.. no one is.

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  33. Lois- I am sending you good thoughts.

    Danielle- From our Ms. Jo, eh? Well, I am glad of that. You sound like a very clever fellow and one who knows how to entertain. I shall visit you, too. And yes, bless all our hearts.

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  34. yes! feel welcome in my part of blogland when ever you feel like hopping over..:-)

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  35. I've come back to this comment block 3 times now. What to say. I'm always behind schedule, the house is a mess, the yard too, the to do list is never finished and there is never enough time. I'm always amazed when the dentist appointments come due again, or the pets rabies vaccines, or all the other routine things I'm late doing. All I seem to do around here is cook and clean and buy groceries and pick up kids and their stuff. I live in a perpetual mess. When I was a working mom it wasn't this bad, but the kids and the dog weren't as messy or needy. I used to alphabetize my spices, now I try to guess what's sticky on the counter. There have been mornings when I've forgotten I was still unloading the dishwasher and started putting dirty on top of clean. Like you, I can't leave the dishes for the next day, or I'll cry into my coffee. I never cared for cleaning, and lately I just plain hate it. I'm Lucy in the candy factory here. The laundry rooms always full, the trash is overflowing and I'm always late to wherever I'm supposed to be. Waaah.

    I'm half swapped out winter for summer clothes and have made a terrible mess of my bedroom and closet, and my goal this week is to roll that ball of yarn back up, and Goodwill some in the process. This week I fantasized about throwing the laundry in the trash, because I'm tired of looking at it.

    I find I'm doing less and less of what I should do or used to do and spending more time talking to my online friends and practicing the art of avoidance. I keep them fed and clothed, that should do. When I get too strung out, I take 10 and play a few songs on the piano, which is pretty cheap therapy and it helps me remember who I am besides Cinderella. It's not easy, this modern life. It's awful busy and it's hard to feel accomplished sometimes.

    But if I were you, I'd keep baking that bread at the very least. It's cheap therapy and good for you.
    And who needs to dust when there are babies to hold? Just imagine, in a few years, Owen will love helping you put the pecans in the basket, and it will be a chore no more!

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  36. Sara- I think you are right. We all think we're the ONLY ones with mildew in our bathrooms and dog hair every where.

    Danielle- Are you a model or what? I can't read German. Is it German? See what an ignorant American I am?

    Mel- I finally got the clothes swapped out myself today and WHY? It's like in the eighties here. What is the point? And yes, those appointments come up every five minutes. Take a nap and it's Christmas. I'm glad you have the piano and actually sit down to play it. And at least you have the memory of having had alphabetically arranged spices. Never in my life have I done such a thing.
    Bless you. We are all doing the best we can.

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  37. a...mo-what????..errr*...no..i m...a writer....ignorant? naw...plus german is a awful hard language..its like herpes to the tongue...

    soon there will be an english version of my homepage...

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  38. Yes, I'm insane. I don't know how my Nana kept this house clean (when she was the head Mama in the house I now live.) She would be mopping right now at 5 AM instead of writing/reading blogs for one. But, actually I think all the housework ect. DID make her feel very depressed and insane too. I feel like I'm going to lose it most of the time because our lives require so much from us. yikes!

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  39. Thanks you, Ms. Moon, for saying what everyone feels! Every single blessed one of us wants more from our days.

    I'm wondering if maybe your standards for yourself are kind of high. Sounds to me like you're running a full enterprise with the garden and the chickens and the human relations and the cooking and the cleaning and the thinking and the writing. Oh, and the dog-shit.

    I try not to worry much about what I don't do. If it's really important, it rolls to the top of the list and then it gets done. But I have an easy life, compared to most folks. Just the two of us and the cats and whatever friendly work I take on. I write at home and Denny works at home and he helps with the house and garden so it's easy.

    We only clean when company is coming. I try to schedule company on a regular basis so we don't live in absolute filth. In between cleanings we do dishes and laundry and change the sheets and clean the toilets and such but I'd ALWAYS rather be reading or writing or out in the garden than cleaning.

    I make a big pot of something on Sunday that we eat for days (roasted chicken or stew or chili or curry, etc.). And a big pot of beans once a week, which cook while I write. The other dinners are half-hour affairs of things I can roast or grill and serve with a salad or vegetables that roasted or grilled too.

    Hope tomorrow is a better day for you and the sun shines and you feel good for everything you do instead of bad for the things that wait in line.

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  40. This very thing has been on my mind so much lately. I find myself rebelling against being so dang busy all the time! My house is a mess. Bills are late. Appointments unmade. But the kids are fed, and dressed in clean-ish clothes (sniff test approved at least!), and I bake them cookies, read to them, help with homework, carve jack o' lanterns. So the kids are OK, my energy goes there...but the rest...forget about it.

    I need my online time, my friends and my blogs. Need. They help with the sanity levels immeasurably, so this time is not wasted, no way! I refuse to feel guilty about it...or wish I could.

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